So. Less than an hour before 2004. How am I? Crap, thanks to some thoughtless words. Furthermore, I seemed to have fucked up my computer. I can hear it doing things behind my back. I bet important files are being deleted right this moment. Fuck. Advertisments popping up everywhere, slowness. I need to install Norton Antivirus. Right after I do� this:

2003. Year of the Matt, the Ben, the GCSEs and the US of A. It's been a good year, but I'm not going to wake up tomorrow and think: "Yes, it's a new start!" I operate in academic years after all, and this really isn't significant.

So here's a retrospective meme. Not a comprehensive summary, but it'll do.

1.What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?

Public Examinations (GCSEs and PSATs), going to school in America.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't make New Year's resolutions.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No, but someone is going to be a father.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No, but really yes.

5. What countries did you visit?

England, I suppose, and here, the United States of America.

6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked

in 2003?

Clarity.

7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Muck Up Day � when I told everyone about running away to America

Book Return Day � Goodbyes.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Surviving the English/American move required some bravery.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not telling anyone that I was leaving until the last possible moment. And before the photos. That was pretty stupid.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nothing spectacular. I did stub my toe and it had one of those bloody blister things.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

The 45s Live DVD.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

All the people who wrote things in my Book and cards and letters and photos. They rocked.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

Nothing much, but I did get a bit disillusioned.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Clothes. However, special mention goes to a bunch of 45s/RUTH stuff that I bought without hesitation.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Donut.

16. What song will always remind you of 2003?

Strange and Beautiful by Aqualung, Can't Stop Myself by RUTH

17. Compared to this time last year, are you

i. happier or sadder?

Happier. I've lived through sadness and it spat me out happy.

ii. thinner or fatter?

Definitely fatter.

iii. richer or poorer?

I have no idea about my finances, but say my spendings and income were the same as last year's, then with my money being in the bank, I should have more due to interest.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Drawing. Paying attention.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Waiting.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

There was family and a hospital and a Cajun restaurant and celebration and sadness.

21. What LJ users did you meet for the first time?

No-one I didn't know before.

22. Did you fall in love in 2003?

I'd like to think so, yes.

23. How many one night stands?

Countless.

24. What was your favourite TV programme?

Buffy and Queer Eye.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No.

26. What was the best book you read?

The Girl with the Pearl Earring by Tracy Chevalier

And I haven't finished Catcher in the Rye yet. Maybe I'll love it.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Hales music.

28. What did you want and get?

GCSEs

29. What did you want and not get?

To see Aqualung in Shepards Bush Empire, 11th April.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?

Amelie

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Sixteen. I didn�t even get cake. However, Ben Hales emailed me.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

It was alreasy very satisfying. I don't think anything else could have made it more.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?

Sixties Mod! Ok, I wish. More like whatever's hanging off the doorknob.

34. What kept you sane?

Aqualung.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Matt and Ben Hales. Because they are celebrities.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Politics? Bah. I did care about gay marriage and Bush etc etc.

37. Who did you miss?

The whole of Engerland.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

I met an excepional amount of people ths year. So it's very hard to say.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003.

I don't learn. I'm stuck in an endless cycle of making the same mistakes again and again and again.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

And honestly/to look you in the eye/it's easier to lie.

I hate how my emotions can be so easily manipulated. I was very happy a moment ago. That's something to do for 2004. Let it be carved in stone.

Fireworks sound like noisy explosives. They were cool in HK because they were illegal. Here they're just annoying and horrible for the animals.

My new towel today was like drying yourself with a duck, and you know how their feathers are coated in oil to prevent waterlogging. Or otters, if that makes an easier visual. Perhaps towels need to be broken in before they achieve their full absorbing potential?

I woke up at 4 today so dinner was my only meal and I didn't eat much. Was beginning to think that I could fast, but I smell food now and I'm very hungry. May the new year be better than this one.

ETA 2004: How... spectacular. Sounds as if my walls are being knocked down. There are male strippers on TV, so it's not all bad. Perhaps I will be having cynical lemming children after all. Not sure about lemmings, though.

<< another little tear. >>

th since 5th october 2001