when the author began writing the following (the third entry of the day), she thought that it was about work, or the lack thereof. however, it soon changed into something horrible which was on the her mind. so without further ado:

not saying that i liked the work i had to do, but this end end end of school thing is a bit disturbing. i sort of miss the essays or whatever i do. okay, that�s a lie, because i have my slacker tendencies, so i�m eternally grateful for the break, but it�s odd to not do anything. even during the exam period i�ve started missing the homework. think of it as this: i prefer homework to revision. maybe.

i know for a fact that i prefer doing homework to what i have to do now: i have to tell the educational people in america how many minutes per week of each subject i�ve done for the last 5 years and what i�ve actually done.

the former i�ve just finished, just a simple and tediously menial task of counting the number of periods of each subject for each year and then timing that by 35 minutes. and then putting it in a spreadsheet document. that was not fun. and while i was doing it, i thought: yeah, when i�ve finished, i�ll go online. and guess what? my mum is online doing her work (she doesn�t finish until the birdies chirp) and graham norton is so over now (11:12 pm)

what really annoyed me about the task was that i had to dig up all my old homework diaries (which i just called �historical documents�, how sad) and read them. old things = nostalgia, and you know that i�m fond of quoting matt hales on the subject of nostalgia: it�s from hell. and i got nostalgic from this year�s diary. i was using it last month (1st may, the day before DT Hand-In Day was probably the last time i wrote in it) and it already seems foreign to me. bastards!

i was looking at the Homage to the Fabulous - the promo pic of sorority boys which is mounted on gaudy holographic purple gift-wrap. it even has shiny, holographic hearts from amy next to michael rosenbaum. and now looking at michael rosenbaum, i feel happy post-obsession fuzziness. how i�ve changed this year.

i�d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who was in my like for the past 10 months. if you are one of these people, give yourself a pat on the back, literal or metaphorical, or any equivalent, because maybe you enjoy a slap on the arse, i don�t know, but feel free to indulge your kink.

back to non-kinky indulgences which are From Hell. next to l�Homage au Fabulous, there is a tigger sticker which nay or meera gave me. one of them got it from barbara, who bought everyone things from her trip to HK during the summer. she gave everyone stuff on the first day of school (i think) when we were still settling into our form room. how i love that place. (all because of bloody nostalgia)

on the other side of the page, there�s a row of 8 ferrero rocher stickers, which is just me being childish. inside near the front and back, there are pages where i�ve written lyrics from alanis morissette (front row, one, you oughta know) and the 45s (thinking it over, something real). i�ve also written this gem i found on fanfiction.net back in the early days of clex when i actually went to ff.net. (to the tune of the Cheers theme tune - �Where everybody knows your name�)

Where Everybody thinks You�re Gay

Making your way through the crap factory today takes everything you�re got
Taking a break from dear old daddy sure would help a lot
Aren�t you in the mood for some HoYay?
Sometimes you wanna go:
Where everybody thinks you�re gay
When it�s actually just HoYay
You wanna be with McChesty
But people don't think you�re that way
You wanna go where everybody thinks you�re gay.

in my homework diary there are also some �mocha people� as they are called and a (so-called) study of Scream (,the?) by Edvard Munch which looks odd without a red colour pencil cos i couldn�t find one in my free. this was drawn on a little yellow piece of paper full of safety rules like:

Keep your hair tied back and wear an overall when working in a workshop or lab.

yeah right, i wore my overall in DT once cos i was wearing a french connection shirt and $58 Gap trousers.

next to the Munch copy, i wrote: �I have Sorority Boys on DVD! Whoo! I love Michael Rosenbaum!�

well, time changes everything. again with the reference to my favourite song about bloody nostalgia. i promised myself not to think about these things. feel like crying now. it sucks. what also sucks is that i�ve been listening to a lot of RUTH and now i�ve associated it with the crappy mood i�m in. so i get a teary vibe from listening to the fabulously upbeat Can�t Stop Myself. disco rocks. (don�t get me started on the shitty teeny bopper disco parties i went to back in the day.)

that song i keep going on about, you need to hear it, or at least read the lyrics (again):

Whirler

Beware of the boxes under your bed
Full of old cold love
Those colourful letters now faded and dead

Let them be -
No, save yourself pain
Let them be -
Come and read us again

Look out for the letters that hide in the drawer
Full of old cold love
Those 'times of your life' can restore you no more

Throw them out -
No, tuck them away
Throw them out -
No, you'll need us some day

Mighty time races on
It leaves nothing unchanged
That's the one thing that you can rely on
All the while you think you are still
You are whirling

La la la

Try not to think of the flowers you sent
Full of old gold love
The petals are ripped and the perfume's all spent

<< i am whirling. >>

th since 5th october 2001