hm. it�s 9:17. it�s a week night. you�ve had dinner. perhaps it�s time for some revision?

perhaps not. they are finished. one by one you have managed to revise for them, pretending to revise by going on the year board, downloading syllabuses, specimen papers and mark schemes; cramming frantically from 10 pm the night before, using the syllabus as a revision guide; snapping at anyone within a 2 metre radius; calling amy and having hour long discussions on the despised crossroads; calling amy again to ask about some impossible maths question; asking amy to teach you in 30 minutes, the entire topic of electro-somethingmaggigy.

you get into school, sit and stress. talking with your friends confuses you even more. checking for the correct stationary and going to the toilet periodically becomes habit.

you walk into the exam room and get knocked back by an entire spectrum of emotions: nervousness, dread, hope, surprise, shock, hysterical desperation, exhaustion, ambivalence, boredom, relief. and then you choke on some water.

and then it�s over and you:

a) go home at an obscenely early time like 10:50, have lunch, fall asleep on the sofa and wake up at 5, when you normally get home.

b) walk around the school doing nothing, laughing at the little people doing their exams or slaving away in lessons. maybe you�ll watch a video, maybe you�ll go online and tell everyone how happy/dead/apathetic you are. maybe you�ll sit in some random corner and plan how to get home with your friends.

then maybe you get on the early coach and get home half an hour early. you are happy. until you realise that just around the corner is another exam, wrapped up in all the emotional stress and crap just like the one you had that day. you fall asleep to forget.

today was just like that. last night, i began to revise physics to 10, thinking that i�d be fine since i did excellently in my mock on very little revision. then i realised that we had learnt 3 completely new topics in the little months we had after the mocks. all the subjects in the mock we had been doing since second year.

i did not understand any radiation, electronic-something (which i still don�t know - it involves generators) and space. which did not imply that i understood everything else. the syllabus began making no sense and the revision guide was much too long.

i was not gonna have time to get it done by 12:30. and i had lost my newest physic notebook, which i believed to contain all notes on the electro-thingy (i didn't� lose it and it didn�t contain notes. we just didn�t have any).

why 12:30? well. 12:30 is re:covered, which had aqualung on. i thought that if all else failed, even if i was gonna fail my physic GCSE (which the rest of my sciences completely depend on for the A*) it didn�t matter because i was going to be Happy. full-of-fangirl-joy happy.

but alas. it was not meant to be. re:covered was on, but no aqualung. mystique was on, covering alanis morissette, but i wasn�t happy. mystique are quite attractive, but not in the way of the brothers hales.

i was sorely disappointed and fell asleep with a heavy heart.

morning was like queuing for the electric chair. but i fought and made amy explain too me the electric stuff. if i had used my weekend-and-a -half, i would have been crystal clear on the subject, but i didn�t so i wasn�t so i needed to be. and amy, i tell you, is a kickass teacher. but i��m a kickass student, so.

the exam was blah. i was to tired and the pen i bought half way through my exams ran out on me, so i used this anally thin moomin biro with makes me write like a retard. but i cared not. i counted down to pens-down time and thanked God. looking out the windows on the top of the gym walls, i felt something vaguely good. divinity exists, and it loves you.

afterwards, we didn't really know what to do. but i liked that feeling. we took some post-exam-high photos then got kicked out. so we went and watched Legally Blonde. then had lunch and watched Dogma. it�s an amazing film. very good. i liked it very much. it was Good. plus alanis morissette was good. and meera had recorded re:covered on friday so that was good. all was good.

after school, something really badly planned worked quite smoothly which just shows mt good fortune today. nay, karen, jenni, ash, miri, hannah, chess, ticca, yvonne and i were going to go to pizza hut. nay, karen and jenni took the early coach to my town. they got off too early cos of karen and got lost. haha.

ash, miri and i went on the 4 pm coach. as i was about to get off at meera�s stop to go to the station to pick up yvonne,she phoned me from marylebone. so i stayed on the coach. we got off at our stop and went to ash�s house so she could get dressed. her and miri went to pizza hut while i went to get yvonne. luckily, she got there and we got picked up by mt dad.

then chess came to my house and we all wet to pizza hut. then we had pizza (i didn�t) and took photos. now i�m at home is it�s not 10:09 and i spent and hour typing this. its the en

d of an era. i wore my uniform for the last itme today. my seriously ripped shoes have been thrown out. they stink.

shivani likes aqualung. yay!

<< GCSE day 16 - The End. ok, physics. >>

th since 5th october 2001