27.07.2003 ~ 2:30 am
hello.
this moving continents busyness thing is cramping my online style. it's now nearly 2 but i only got home 2 hours ago. more later.
the 'rents are constantly on the phone sorting out bank/house/car things so even if i have time i can't go online.
and today, i had such a breakdown. i was sorting through crap on the floor of my sitting room and the tears were finally drying. i had an impulse to cry, "FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!" like drew barrymore on Donnie Darko, when suddenly,
Ding Doing
sang the door bell. the 'dong' is slightly out of pitch so it sounds vaguely sinister.
amy's parents brought along some friends to look at the house. (please buy it so we get the money already! )
sitting in the middle of the house (thankfully with my back to the door) i tried to mak myself look somewhat decent. (red puffy eyes and pyjamas - great look.) i think amy might have said something about them coming. but i didn't remember. anyway i kept my head down as much as possible, pretending to be busy with the 11+ past papers. luckily, amy's parents were really nice to me and amy's mum even subtly invited me to go to her house, i think. i declined but it might have been a god idea. i did consider putting on som trainers and running out of the house previously, but evasion isn't the most effective way of dealing with things.
i hid in the bathroom afterwards, laughing/crying hysterically. i make the same sound anyway.
so then we went to dinner with to The Chinese Restaurant. denni, amy and her parents were there. last time seeing them. talked at length about everything - toast(er, tickle), angel, buffy, hong kong, "singing k", school, various male teachers whom denni is obsessed with, the Justin timberlake poster saga, the names juan and joaquin and apparently juanqui (heh?), juan carlos ferrero (another of denni's obsessions), dreams, denni's non-ex a.k.a. my shaggin'-wagon buddy, cross necklaces (worn by non-Christians), river island, our (other) obsessions, me leaving, annoying people in the year below, etc etc.
it was most fun. and denni got locked in the complex when she ran to go to the loo. I'm too numb to go into the emotions, and my tear glands are spent. i love you all. i like it here.
this better be a time-of-the-month thing, cos it needs to go away. in a very short amount of time. bastards. bloody bastards.
ETA to add important point: karen called from Israel today. k666, you rock and i love you.
<< right now, i'm thinking that this can only get worse. well aren't i just a ray of bloody unshine. >>
