02.06.2004 ~ 3:30 am
well there you fucking go. my whole entry - which i was deliberating over - gone. i guess it's a sign.
it started well enough, a discussion on AIM (root of all evil) with Brian on homosexuality, morals, faith, lies and interpretations of the Bible. he is fundamentalist, and i kept asking him why he believed in hat he did and he couldn't give me an answer that i liked and i was annoyed. unreasonably, i now see, because if there's anything i learnt in GCSE RS, it's that there is no rational, logical reason for faith. there is no proof. (please AS girls, prove me wrong.)
and honestly
to look you in the eye
it's easier to lie
easier to lie
it had just appeared to me that Easier to Lie is a really honest song. by revealing that it's easier to lie, he's effectively giving away the key to a coded message.
it's pretty mindblowing to my 3:05 am brain, and i guess you think i'm thick now. at least my 3:05 pm self will.
so back to the AIM conversation:
me: you can always lie.
him: no u can't
him: because truths and opportunities can be missed from lying
me: and vice versa.
him: im stupid
me: why?
him: no reason mrs.hales im retarded, look i kno u might be in love with john and all...but see the truth is and i wont lie i have a little crush on u...
me: hahahha!
me: sorry
him: exactly, laugh
me: that is why
me: people like me exist
him: well im glad i told u...
me: well its incredibly brave.
him: thats because im not afraid of the consequences of my actions
me: YOU are incredibly brave
me: well done.
me: am i in love with John?
him: i dont kno are u?
me: i don't know. quite honestly, i'm not lucid enough
him: then try to be
me: because it's easy like that
me: oh. hone your senses... in love or not?
me: i might as well tear petals from a daisy
him: so indeed u are?
me: i don't know.
him: mmm i think yall make a good couple...
me: i think we'd be terrible together.
him: hahah yeah indeed its easier for u to lie
posting conversations is so cheap. sorry. and laconic Jimmy, all he said was, "you do like john." well thanks. apparently, i've been ignoring that neon sign over my head. i knew what it said, i just didn't know there was a sign.
just for the record, it's 4 am, i'm spamming the AquaBoard with Caz and i'm Lovin' It! actually, the shame is catching up with me. especially when i just told Jenni to read this foul-mouthed trash and she's babysitting. and i just said hi to the baby. so so sorry!
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