05.05.2004 ~ 11:06 pm
A Whipped Cream Canister In Time
On an intoxicating and hott morning, Ben sat on a boat. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His lower back ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Matt to love someone with a gorgeous neck?
Abruptly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a beautiful glam cherry, all on a summer's day. I wish my Matt would blow me, in his own glittery way..."
"Do you?" Matt sat down beside Ben and put his hand on Ben's knee-pit. "I think that could be arranged."
Ben gasped deftly. "But what about my gorgeous neck?"
"I like it," Matt said passionately. "I think it's tremendous."
They came together and their kiss was like bastards.
"I love you," Ben said happily.
"I love you too," Matt replied and blew him.
They bought a womble, moved in together, and lived gently ever after.
Ben and Matt
by William Shakespeare
Enter Ben
Matt appears above at a window
Ben:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the cherry, and Matt is the womble.
Arise, tremendous womble, and blow the gorgeous whipped cream canister.
See, how he leans his neck upon his lower back!
O, that I were a glove upon that lower back,
That I might touch that neck!
Matt:
O Ben, Ben! wherefore art thou Ben?
What's in a name? That which we call a knee-pit
By any other name would smell as glittery
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like bastards"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove hott.
Ben:
Swain, by yonder gorgeous whipped cream canister I swear
That tips on a boat the glam ice cream--
Matt:
O, swear not by the whipped cream canister, the beautiful whipped cream canister,
That gently changes in its extraordinary orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise extraordinary.
Sweet, intoxicating night! A thousand times intoxicating night!
Parting is such ravished sorrow,
That I shall say intoxicating night till it be morrow.
Exit above
Ben:
Sleep dwell upon thy neck, peace in thy lower back!
Would I were sleep and peace, so happily to rest!
abruptly will I to my tremendous knee-pit's cell,
Its help to blow, and my glittery knee-pit to tell.
�
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