my problem is that i�m never in The Party Mood. i don�t even understand the concept. mingling? dancing? loud, crap music? i am very extroverted, but i just cannot be bothered in a party situation. i fall asleep.

they said that this place we were going to was 15 minutes away from the school. it takes me eight minutes to get to school, so 8 + 15 = 23. then why did it take me 40 minutes to get back? and that was without traffic. my point is that when we were going there, i waited in the car for so long that i fell asleep the moment we got there. there being a home for children with parents who can�t care for them. there being a ranch. how Texan.

i DJed with Y and S (initials because i cannot spell their names), so we sat next to the speakers. i am now a bit deaf and my voice is about to go too, because of: �SORRY, WHAT DID YOU SAY???� �WHAT???� �NEVER MIND!!!�

the music selection wasn�t great either - i lot of pop crap and requests for Justin Timberlake. however, 95% was not popular with the party kids - they evidently have no taste in music. Jimmy and I tried to slip in Wouldn�t It Be Nice, but couldn�t find the right opportunity. ooh, i saw Manny and Diggy from the time AstroClub went to The Observatory. Manny gave me a CD - i thought it was his own band, but it�s actually Heart by a Montreal band called Stars.

Jimmy wanted to ask this girl to Prom. we planned it all - like Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You, he would sing Can�t Take My Eyes Off Of You and everything. the fear of rejection got the worse of him. a shame, because it would have been really amusing. or humiliating, depending on the perspective.

SB and i got there very early. we formed the Wallflower Pact: �we stand on the side and look pretty.� (his words, not mine.) we were all made to play The Valentine�s Self-Introduction Game. i hate all self-introduction games. you have to describe yourself to total strangers, which always comes out wrong. i made a whole music camp think that i was a cocaine addict once. most of these have a memory aspect to them, and i�m always on the end of the circle. you know how i can�t remember names? well, in our first drama lesson in Ribbons & Lace, i thought ticca�s name was Miryam. they don�t even look alike!

luckily for us Wallflowers, the game involved a person in the circle coming up to people forming the circle and telling them that he/she loves them. if the recipient of the declaration of love smiles, he/she has to go into the circle. we are seasoned pros in sarcasm and so it was very easy to reply to someone proclaiming their eternal love for you with a deadpan �i love you too, so very, very much.� i was a tad disappointed that i didn�t have to go into the circle. i planned to prey on the little boys - they�d be easy to break. SB thinks i�m a pervert now. weirdly enough, only small boys came up to me and they gave up very easily, whereas girls would go on and on and on...

we then decided to break The Pact because we thought that line-dancing would be funny. well, you�d think that it would be easy, what with all the repetition and walking up and down. i hereby announce that i do not dance and should never do it again. i didn�t get it at all - the stepping, the turning, and can someone please explain to me what the fucking Hoe Down is?

my parents came to pick me up at 9. they were all darlings: �are you driving?� �be safe!� all i had eaten since 3:30 pm was one brownie and one crisp. i wasn�t hungry at all. a little nauseous, perhaps. a very full bladder. i used a lot of ice despite fucking cold gym with a leaky roof.

looking through thumbnails of the photos i took - dear God, they�re bad. a lot of hands, what shy friends i have. i�ll just not look at these full size. i�ll just... go to bed and blame this on Friday the 13th.

by the way, i added a picture of one of those heart things here.

<< still not feeling it! >>

th since 5th october 2001