How queer. I'm doing brilliantly on paper, but it feels as though I'm about to drown at any moment. It's one of those days, fast turning into one of those nights. (When the sun sets around me, my daydreams confound me and the long night surrounds me)

It feels as though I had been greedy, taking high standards and expectations, responsibilities, people, Things To Be Maintained when I can't.

Of course, it's all very easy, really. I just can't see that right now.

(And her hope was all lost, all hope was lost, given up) I started crying in the car.

Then I got back and had to take Passport Photos.

I am stuck with a decade of a very fake smile in my most important document.

The significance is in what I leave out.

<< The sirens. >>

th since 5th october 2001