I haven't been updating properly because I can't be bothered. This is no proper entry. It's just long.

Why retype when you can Ctrl C, Ctrl V? (Players: Sarf is feeling <3, I am Coral!Ophelia and SB is sweary. My bad influence, no doubt.)

there is no emoticon for what i'm feeling. (<3) says:
what has happened to us?
I cannot reach the pen for me to draw the line says:
i know.
aren't we supposed to be singing in meadows and making daisy chains?
i feel like crazy!ophelia.
i am singing random songs
unconsciously
and when i listen to myself
i realise that they're totally apt.
and then i'm in that mood where i would try and float in a foot of water
and drown
i'm... floaty.
not lucid
and certainly not sane.

Meanwhile

I cannot reach the pen for me to draw the line says:
Limerence is a state of mind sometimes referred to as "being in love" (as distinct from "loving" someone) and sometimes called "infatuation." However, the term "infatuation" carries connotations of immaturity that "limerence" separates from the emotion.
part of the limerence thing is that it doesn't last.
fuck it... says:
are you saying your own feelings will dwindle
I cannot reach the pen for me to draw the line says:
several options
a) disillusion
b) turns into love
c) new object of limerence
and i think d) dwindle.
fuck it... says:
which one of those choices do you expect
I cannot reach the pen for me to draw the line says:
take into consideration of my mood. some combination of a and d.
fuck it... says:
ill take that into consideration
I cannot reach the pen for me to draw the line says:
how high is the level of lokhate now?
fuck it... says:
oh
incredibly
so high

And then

there is no emoticon for what i'm feeling. (<3) says:
he copied and pasted.

there is no emoticon for what i'm feeling. (<3) would like to send you the file "Document.rtf" (12 Kb). Transfer time is less than 1 minute with a 28.8 modem. Do you want to Accept (Alt+T) or Decline (Alt+D) the invitation?

Transfer of file "Document.rtf" from there is no emoticon for what i'm feeling. (<3) has been accepted. Starting transfer...

Couldn't read it. So I went to the darkest corner of the game room and sat next to the hifi cables instead. The tone of "he copied and pasted" hit like something hard and blunt. Perhaps I was trying to provoke myself: I wanted to see his reaction so that I could react to it. Guilty but not apologetic. I had thought that I was numb, but all it took was a poke and Bread. She stopped me before I could walk back to the origin of pacing. (I pace when I need to think. No wonder Hamza is so happy and carefree; he runs and skates long distances.) She held my mobile at the half-landing. (Bills OMG.) It rang again

I cannot reach the pen for me to draw the line says:
i did say hello.
and he asked for fatima's phone number.
which is...
there was actually a silence for about five seconds
which felt like ten.
which is much longer than it sounds.

I thought about apologising, but decided against it because truth has a perverted glamour.

And then there were telephone conversations without pauses. (But somehow you're here and now you save my day. And I was at the point of fading clean away, but it's my life you're saving.)

<< The way that I feel inide is coming around today. Is it too late to say I'm sorry? >>

th since 5th october 2001