hello. came back from dinner with amy. mmm... she wrote more in my autograph book. it's becoming an essay and it's perfect although she has more to say. apparently there's gonna be a card. looking forward to that mucho-ly.

right now, i am pensive but i don't want to think. i prefer to block out the voices in my head by playing music into it. namely harrison. i don't think i've mentioned this before, but I Love It. it's a great album. very happy. except for 2 songs. that i can think of.

i've had the album for a bit more than 24 hours and already i've heard it more times than i can count on both my hands. (what happened to the simpler "10+"?) i've been listening to harrison all of today with a break for when i was talking to my grandparents and aunt from hong kong. they were asking about my school and i couldn�t help but start crying. i had to pretend to be happy cos i�m positive that my grandma would freak if she senses discontentedness (wha?). she�d say, �stay. here. and don�t. leave. ever!� but in a more indirect way.

but then i started listening to RUTH again and it has this odd effect - opposite to aqualung - where you laugh/cry hysterically and then you�re ok and sort of happy. denial-girl likes that.

i read ash�s message after she left for spain. which is smart. i could have turned up to see her early this morning and told her how perfect the message was, but i was in bed listening to RUTH. not only Harrison, but the b-sides on the tapes. they�re also very good. there�s a lot of whooping and yelping. like nicole kidman in moulin rouge.

You take me over

I'm seeing red and I
Wish I was dead and I
Can't go on with all these weasels in my head
Today today
Was the worst day
I have to say
The feeling came
It won't go away

You
You
You take me over

I want to cry and I
Can't tell you why and I
Don't want to know if I should try to get some exorcise
Tonight tonight
Is the worst night
My throat's so tight
There's something in me
It's coming out

I'm seeing red and I
Wish I was dead and I
Can't remember all the sweet and sour things you said
I'm going blue
Because of you
Can't find my shoes
Feel very strange
What can I do?

Waiting for this

I love the mornings
The mornings love me
I wake up
It's the afternoon
So I close all the curtains
Turn off all the lights
And I sit in my room and pretend

That all my life
I've been waiting for this

Write me a letter
I'll find you a pen
And then I'll wait and see
And in the morning
I'll race to the door
Close my eyes
In surprise
A letter for me (actually, the song says "a letter from you", but hey)

All my life
I've been waiting for this
Now I'm waiting for something else
And I can't sleep
Cos I'm not very tired
So I sit in my room and pretend
That I don't want this day to end

These are the days of my life

Little by little
Time ticks by
Down and down and down
Each day full of promise
Each day to make my own
But promises are broken
Like me

<< "i want to cry and i can't tell you why" >>

th since 5th october 2001